America
One time, I travelled to Mexico from Canada by car, accompanied by a very nice, very beautiful French lady who spoke English with a charming French accent. We stopped in Dallas, Texas, and went into a department store. American department stores are typically very large and sell virtually everything.
My friend walked up to a cashier, and said, "Excuse me, do you sell bread here?"
The American cashier, looking confused, said, "I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you said."
The French lady did not understand the American's reply.
I had to speak the question in my Canadian accent, which the Texan understood, and tell the French lady the reply. They could both understand me, but neither could understand the other.
The French lady, of course, got very angry at this dumb American who could not understand the French lady's perfect English, but the fact of the matter was that her accent was incomprehensible to a lady accustomed to the long drawn-out cowboy style talk prevalent in that area of the USA. Nobody says "hello", for example, it's always "Hi y'all, how ya doin'?" And "goodbye" becomes "Bye now, y'all have a good day, now!"
England
Although England is the source of the English language, there is a surprising number of English people that speak incomprehensible English. There are more than a hundred regional accents, with, to my ear, Bristol being the worst. I once worked with a young man from Bristol and it was a most trying experience. His accent was so strong that I always had to ask him to repeat himself, more slowly.
I have hitched rides with lorry drivers and not understood even half of what they said. I met an old man on the Welsh border who had never been more than 5 miles from his village, but I sat with him for an hour before I began to understand his peculiar accent.
New Zealand
In New Zealand, the short vowels are switched: "fish" becomes "fesh", "chips" becomes "chups", "trip" becomes "trup"; "fish and chips" is spoken as "fesh and chups".
Scotland
To my ear, Scotland has the most interesting accent, I love listening to a Scot. I enjoy watching Scottish programs on TV. I lived there a short time when I was a teenager, and very much enjoyed the language.
In Canada, someone would say, "Are you going shopping today?" In Scotland, this would become "Are ye no goin' tae the shops today, lad?" and it's spoken in a musical tone.
However, having a Scot as an English teacher is probably a bad idea, unless she/he tones down the accent.
Tennessee
When driving from Toronto to New Orleans one year, I stopped at a gas station in Tennessee; the young man said "chuck yer ahl" and I had no idea he was saying "Check your oil?"
Australia
I lived in Australia for 8 years. When my wife and I rented an apartment in Brisbane, the agent said, "You'll find it convenient living here, it's right near the hile in roid."
I said "Near the what?"
She said, "The hile in roid."
We had no idea what she meant.
A few days later, we decided to go downtown on the bus; actually, Australian cities don't have a "downtown", they have a "CBD" - Central Business District.
We walked out of the apartment building and across the street to the bus stop. There was a bench seat and a metal pole with a metal flag at the top, with a picture of a bus and a man waving. The sign read "Hail and Ride". In other words, wave at the bus when it comes, or it won't stop. The agent's accent had rendered "Hail and Ride" as "hile in roid", incomprehensible to anyone who wasn't Australian.
Australia, being an isolated English colony, and initially populated by prisoners and their guards, has a vocabulary totally unlike UK and US English. There are hundreds of unique words, such as "chunder" (to vomit), "chook" (chicken), "Strine" (contraction of "Australian" language), "barbie" (BBQ or barbecue), "tinnie" (light metal boat), "seppos" (city dwellers, having septic tanks), "dunnie" (outdoor toilet), "prezzie" (present), "togs" (swimsuit, bathing suit), etc.
There is no "wood" in Australia, but there is lots of "timber" as in "timber dining table"; nobody has any "friends", everyone has "mates". There are no "elevators" but there are plenty of "lifts".
"Draw" and "drawer" are both pronounced "drore", which means you often see the wrong word used in advertisments, such as "bed with 3 draw bedside stand". "Sought" is pronounced "sort", so you will see many real estate advertisements for "sort after location".
Apostrophe's are of'ten used in the w'rong location's as mos't Australian's have no i'dea w'hat to do with th'em.
Some Aboriginal words have been incorporated into everyday Strine as well. For example, "woop woop" means "the middle of nowhere", as does "beyond the black stump". In Queensland state, "beer" is spelled "XXXX", and pronounced "four ex"; this is a popular brand of beer brewed in Brisbane. |
